August 24, 2010.

‎"I think you should have the summer off. To do drugs and other stuff."

May 27, 2010 8:20 am

"You used to be able to type in 'white house', hit the button, and Google would take you to a pornographic website. After thoroughly studying it, I decided five or six hours later that it was pornography."

May 27, 2010 8:15 am

"I would have gotten the job, but it went to that black, Jewish woman!"

May 21, 2010 7:20 am

On music that we listen to, apparently:

"Rock 'n' Roll isn't the music you listen to, where the lyrics are overt: "I screwed my mama last night!"

May 3, 2010 8:15 am

"You know what an egghead is? They think they're the smartest person in the room and act like it, too. Like...you know Griffin Plattner?"

April 27, 2010 8:40 am

"The Democrats are pussies!"

April 27, 2010 8:40 am

On nuclear bomb drills when Gault was a kid:

"And they'd day to get under our desk and I'm thinking, "What the f***?!" And I'm 10 and I know we're going to be incinerated!"

April 27, 2010 8:20 am

On other countries buying United States bonds:

"If the Chinese...what? We've got their money, they've got pieces of paper! So, they better behave."

April 27, 2010 8:20 am

About the island off the coast of China where some Chinese revolutionaries fled to and the Americans swore to protect:

"I don't think we're gonna fight China over this little island. Cause, if we do, where are we gonna get all of our shirts?!"

April 21, 2010 8:20 am

On a conversation with his ex-wife:

"She told me that I needed to follow her to the gas station and pump her gas for her because she didn't know how, and I said "no" and she asked "Why the hell not?" and I said, "Well...equality." We divorced soon after that."

April 21, 2010 7:55 am

"The Navajos...are pretty cool."

April 21, 2010 7:35 am

"They couldn't use the "f" word in the army. Like Harry Potter. The word-that-cannot-be-said or whatever..."

April 19, 2010. 8:15 am

"There is nothing more dangerous than an American teen with a high-powered rifle."

April 19, 2010. 7:55 am

On the army rations:

"They wanted the rubber. Not for condoms. My other class was like "What do they need all those condoms for?!" They're a bunch of idiots."

April 16, 2010. 7:50

On FDR:

"You can talk the talk, but if you can't walk the...wait, I shouldn't say that..."

April 16, 2010 7:20 am

On studying for the AP exam:

"Now, it won't work at 11 o'clock at night the day before after you smoke a joint. This is from experience."

March 19, 2010 7:45 am

On the TVA and the valley with all of its incest:

"Their heads aren't round and their ears are uneven...HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN DELIVERANCE?!"

March 19, 2010 7:40 am

Gault: I hate it when students come up to me after the AP exam and say things like "Oh, there was a big essay on the National Rifle Association and you didn't teach us that." And then I say..."The NRA" and they nod, and I tell them, "Sorry, I'm such a horse's ass."

March 19, 2010 7:25 am

When a student was talking about Gault:

Student: A lot of bad things happen to him: polio, appendicitis, allergies."

Gault pops up.

Gault: It's karma.

March 17, 2010 7:40 am

On Eleanor Roosevelt:

"And she spoke with a very high voice. *imitates* Oh, I'm so very glad you're here today!"