Friday, February 26, 2010
February 23, 2010. 8:15 am
After telling a stupid joke about how there aren't enough beautiful women left in the world:
"That used to be funny. Now people just think I'm stupid. Right, Lynanne?"
*Lynanne nods*
"That used to be funny. Now people just think I'm stupid. Right, Lynanne?"
*Lynanne nods*
February 23, 2010.
"When I say "Good morning" when you come into the room, I say *low voice* "Good morning...dammit!" and the French sing it. "Ohhh, bonjour!"
February 23, 2010. 7:45 am
"'Cause they're the *whispers* Founding Fathers. Oh, what did the Founding Fathers want? Okay, let's do that."
February 19, 2010. 7:55 am
About the Great White Fleet:
"Yeah! Let's promote peace by sending weapons of war!"
"Yeah! Let's promote peace by sending weapons of war!"
February 19, 2010.
When talking about why Japan wanted part of Russia and part of China:
"Japan has no natural resources - they have fish, rice and people. That's it."
"Japan has no natural resources - they have fish, rice and people. That's it."
February 15, 2010.
On the introduction to Alaska to the Union:
"We needed Alaska! It gave us Sarah Palin! And you can see Russia!"
"We needed Alaska! It gave us Sarah Palin! And you can see Russia!"
February 15, 2010.
When speaking about Fidel Castro:
"His very presence poses a serious threat to the United States. He's just there and it's making us mad."
"His very presence poses a serious threat to the United States. He's just there and it's making us mad."
February 15, 2010.
On the South American countries being invited to the US:
"They were summoned to Washington, D.C., the capital of the Universe. You will appear."
"They were summoned to Washington, D.C., the capital of the Universe. You will appear."
February 15, 2010.
Can someone remember who he was talking about on this one? I remember laughing pretty hard...
"They're like the Blues Brothers gone international on a mission from GOD."
"They're like the Blues Brothers gone international on a mission from GOD."
February 15, 2010.
When speaking about the Monroe Doctrine and how TR enforced it:
"We have the moral AND legal justification to tell the French to get the hell out of the hemisphere!"
"We have the moral AND legal justification to tell the French to get the hell out of the hemisphere!"
February 15, 2010.
When talking about the French and the Mexicans:
"Napoleon the Third - who was cousin to Napoleon the One - sent troops into Mexico."
"Napoleon the Third - who was cousin to Napoleon the One - sent troops into Mexico."
February 17, 2010.
When talking about Fidel Castro:
"He came to America, didn't make the Dodgers, so he said "Take your Platt Amendment and shove it!""
"He came to America, didn't make the Dodgers, so he said "Take your Platt Amendment and shove it!""
February 17, 2010.
When explaining how carefully sealed a diplomatic letter is:
"First, they put it in a big leather pouch. Then they put a big lock on that, wrap it in a chain, cover it in duct tape, put it in a block of cement, and lock it in a stainless steel case."
"First, they put it in a big leather pouch. Then they put a big lock on that, wrap it in a chain, cover it in duct tape, put it in a block of cement, and lock it in a stainless steel case."
February 17, 2010.
When talking about battle strategies:
"We'll go in there, we'll find the infants, and we'll kill 'em. That'll teach 'em!"
"We'll go in there, we'll find the infants, and we'll kill 'em. That'll teach 'em!"
Thursday, February 4, 2010
February 3rd, 2010. 8th Period.
When talking about giving us a free period the rest of class, when he was done with his lecture:
"Now you can work on any homework from any class. You can work on history or Spanish or anything else. *pauses* Now, notice that I didn't say you can have sex or do drugs."
*Class stares*
Random student: "I didn't know that was an option."
"Now you can work on any homework from any class. You can work on history or Spanish or anything else. *pauses* Now, notice that I didn't say you can have sex or do drugs."
*Class stares*
Random student: "I didn't know that was an option."
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
February 3rd, 2010. 8:20 a.m.
When telling the infamous story of William Howard Taft and how he got stuck in a bathtub:
"So they had to call the ground crew up to get this fat, naked man out of the bathtub."
"So they had to call the ground crew up to get this fat, naked man out of the bathtub."
February 3rd, 2010. 7:45 a.m.
Gault was talking about exactly what the meatpacking industry puts (or used to put) in their meat:
Girl in class: "What are in the burritos at Taco Bell?"
Gault: "Well, that's another story."
Girl in class: "What are in the burritos at Taco Bell?"
Gault: "Well, that's another story."
February 3rd, 2010. 7:30 a.m.
When speaking of a student he had with a photographic memory:
"He was like Google!"
"He was like Google!"
February 3rd, 2010. 7:20 a.m.
When telling a story about when someone asked Bill Gates if Microsoft had been sued for being a monoploy:
"And I bet Bill Gates said, "Yes, we are, we're Microsoft!"
"And I bet Bill Gates said, "Yes, we are, we're Microsoft!"
February 3rd, 2010.
"Whenever I drive by a cowfield, I yell out the windows: "My species eats your species!""
February 3rd, 2010.
When talking about Teddy Roosevelt and his trust busting ways:
"Roosevelt's like Batman. He's gonna go get 'em!"
(Mr. Gault? I take offense to this. Batman pwns Roosevelt three hundred times over)
"Roosevelt's like Batman. He's gonna go get 'em!"
(Mr. Gault? I take offense to this. Batman pwns Roosevelt three hundred times over)
February 1st, 2010.
"Have you guys seen any bad movies lately? I saw When In Rome. Don't see it. There's no nudity, so what's the point?"
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Unknown Time and Date.
In response to several people gossiping about a "weird" kid and all the things strange about him:
"Well, he should his ass kicked for that!"
"Well, he should his ass kicked for that!"
Monday, February 1, 2010
Poll Results.
When asked what one thought about Mr. Gault -
51% - Ohmygod, he's my favorite teacher!
10% - I wish I were more like him.
7% - He's good in small doses.
5% - Hate him with a burning passion.
Congrats people who like Gault the best! A new poll about the beloved history teacher will be up soon!
51% - Ohmygod, he's my favorite teacher!
10% - I wish I were more like him.
7% - He's good in small doses.
5% - Hate him with a burning passion.
Congrats people who like Gault the best! A new poll about the beloved history teacher will be up soon!
OLD - January 28, 2010. Unknown time.
After handing out a county test that I'm pretty sure we were supposed to do way earlier in the year:
"Don't talk and don't cheat. Normally, I'd take your test away if you did either of those, but seeing as I can't, I have a sharpened pencil and I will stab you in the neck."
Holds up sharp number two pencil. Class audibly gulps.
"Don't talk and don't cheat. Normally, I'd take your test away if you did either of those, but seeing as I can't, I have a sharpened pencil and I will stab you in the neck."
Holds up sharp number two pencil. Class audibly gulps.
February 1, 2010. 8:15 a.m.
More about Cosmopolitan:
"It was a different magazine back then, not the kind that they hide behind a shield at Publix."
"It was a different magazine back then, not the kind that they hide behind a shield at Publix."
February 1, 2010. 8:25 a.m.
About muckrakers:
"Basically, they're a bunch of investigative journalists - on a mission from GOD."
"Basically, they're a bunch of investigative journalists - on a mission from GOD."
February 1, 2010. 7:45 a.m.
On the subject of morality and possibly stealing and giving up your morals:
"Screw other people, my kids are starving! The hell with morality!"
"Screw other people, my kids are starving! The hell with morality!"
February 1, 2010. 7:30 a.m.
On the subject of 'Obamanism':
"Forty years from now, your kids are gonna come home and say "We were talking about Obamanism in class today." And you'll say, "Yeah, I remember that. Ruined the country."
"Forty years from now, your kids are gonna come home and say "We were talking about Obamanism in class today." And you'll say, "Yeah, I remember that. Ruined the country."
February 1, 2010. 8:15 a.m.
On the subject of the magazine Cosmopolitan, which used to be a political magazine. A girl in the class had just said that people read the magazine for the headlines on the cover, not the sex stuff.
"What do the headlines on the cover say? 'How to have better sex with your boss?"
"What do the headlines on the cover say? 'How to have better sex with your boss?"
February 1, 2010. 8:00 a.m.
Gault: "How do you know what you know is true?"
Lynanne: "Take Theory of Knowledge?"
Lynanne: "Take Theory of Knowledge?"
February 1, 2010. 8:00 a.m.
When talking about homosexuality and it's "moral" consequence:
"Yeah! But it's a perversion! It's in THE BIBLE!"
"Yeah! But it's a perversion! It's in THE BIBLE!"
February 1, 2010. 7:55 a.m.
When ranting about the use of children in coal mines:
"I've never seen that in the Bible: children are disposable. No, I don't think Jesus was a capitalist."
"I've never seen that in the Bible: children are disposable. No, I don't think Jesus was a capitalist."
February 1, 2010. 7:45 a.m.
When talking about domestic abuse right before the Progressive Era:
"They can't just call 911! 'Hey, I just had the hell beat out of me and now my husband wants to have sex and I'm kinda against it..."
"They can't just call 911! 'Hey, I just had the hell beat out of me and now my husband wants to have sex and I'm kinda against it..."
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