Monday, May 31, 2010
May 27, 2010 8:20 am
"You used to be able to type in 'white house', hit the button, and Google would take you to a pornographic website. After thoroughly studying it, I decided five or six hours later that it was pornography."
May 21, 2010 7:20 am
On music that we listen to, apparently:
"Rock 'n' Roll isn't the music you listen to, where the lyrics are overt: "I screwed my mama last night!"
"Rock 'n' Roll isn't the music you listen to, where the lyrics are overt: "I screwed my mama last night!"
May 3, 2010 8:15 am
"You know what an egghead is? They think they're the smartest person in the room and act like it, too. Like...you know Griffin Plattner?"
April 27, 2010 8:40 am
On nuclear bomb drills when Gault was a kid:
"And they'd day to get under our desk and I'm thinking, "What the f***?!" And I'm 10 and I know we're going to be incinerated!"
"And they'd day to get under our desk and I'm thinking, "What the f***?!" And I'm 10 and I know we're going to be incinerated!"
April 27, 2010 8:20 am
On other countries buying United States bonds:
"If the Chinese...what? We've got their money, they've got pieces of paper! So, they better behave."
"If the Chinese...what? We've got their money, they've got pieces of paper! So, they better behave."
April 27, 2010 8:20 am
About the island off the coast of China where some Chinese revolutionaries fled to and the Americans swore to protect:
"I don't think we're gonna fight China over this little island. Cause, if we do, where are we gonna get all of our shirts?!"
"I don't think we're gonna fight China over this little island. Cause, if we do, where are we gonna get all of our shirts?!"
April 21, 2010 8:20 am
On a conversation with his ex-wife:
"She told me that I needed to follow her to the gas station and pump her gas for her because she didn't know how, and I said "no" and she asked "Why the hell not?" and I said, "Well...equality." We divorced soon after that."
"She told me that I needed to follow her to the gas station and pump her gas for her because she didn't know how, and I said "no" and she asked "Why the hell not?" and I said, "Well...equality." We divorced soon after that."
April 21, 2010 7:35 am
"They couldn't use the "f" word in the army. Like Harry Potter. The word-that-cannot-be-said or whatever..."
April 19, 2010. 8:15 am
"There is nothing more dangerous than an American teen with a high-powered rifle."
April 19, 2010. 7:55 am
On the army rations:
"They wanted the rubber. Not for condoms. My other class was like "What do they need all those condoms for?!" They're a bunch of idiots."
"They wanted the rubber. Not for condoms. My other class was like "What do they need all those condoms for?!" They're a bunch of idiots."
April 16, 2010. 7:50
On FDR:
"You can talk the talk, but if you can't walk the...wait, I shouldn't say that..."
"You can talk the talk, but if you can't walk the...wait, I shouldn't say that..."
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